Long gone are the days where we generalize experiences. We are so used to saying “OMG my friend had a C section… you’ll be fine.”
At the root of that we are just trying to make an anecdotal connection which I can appreciate but what ends up happening is we generalize and diminish someone’s experience. When we say those types of statements, it is as if we are taking away the uniqueness of each woman’s experience.
Every person with a vulva who decides to have a child will have a different experience.
Not all cesarean section deliveries are easy-peasy and not all natural childbirth experiences are a gory horror movie. This time in a woman’s life is very personal; however, when a woman is pregnant, especially towards the end of the pregnancy it is very obvious they are expecting a child. The belly bump sometimes invites unnecessary conversations.
We, as intergenerational women, need to change that narrative.
Let’s change the way we approach and the things we say to a pregnant person. Pregnancy is a very impressionable time in a woman’s life.
There is so much information and it can be overwhelming… the last thing they might want to hear is how your aunt’s sister’s cousin had a child naturally and was in agonizing pain for 4 days. … it’s like “Yea thanks a lot Deborah for sharing!” Why not ask how they are feeling? How’s your journey been?
Being pregnant is just that: a journey through motherhood. And everyone’s journey is different and unique to them.
Before we share our thoughts on someone else’s pregnancy, take a moment to stop and think, “If I was carrying around an extra 30lbs with a human inside of me would I appreciate the comment that I’m about to say?” If it’s a no, maybe zip it and opt for a smile!
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